Loading ...

All of the presidential election talk that has come and gone over this past week has got me thinking: What if, in a perfect world, we could have video game characters manifest themselves into reality to take on the leadership roles of America? I believe there are 17 men and women (President, VP and cabinet members) who could come together and lead us to brighter pastures.

President – John Shepard (Mass Effect)
In a country filled with moral and economic issues, you need a leader who has the capacities to be sympathetic with his or her people as well as being capable of making the hard decisions. And what character has shown greater leadership ability than Commander John Shepard? Whether it is managing relationships, combat scenarios or how to allocate resources, Shepard has done it all. No one else could be better suited for our nation’s leader.

Vice President –Theresa (Fable Series)
Some may argue that justice is blind. What we can all agree on is that we would need a great Vice President to be there in case anything happened to our President, whether it is assassination, illness, or simply him or her going renegade. We would need a person with vision. And this blind seer has always been able to see one step ahead and help steer the course of events for a nation. I would follow her…blindly…

Department of Agriculture – Farmer (Farmville)
We all are familiar with Farmville, for better or for worse. And no matter what you have to say about the game’s merit, the infamous farmer that you control in Farmville is a magician when it comes to crop harvesting and plant growing. He could easily grow our agriculturally state tenfold.

Department of Commerce –Sandal (Dragon Age)
Commerce is a rough area to cover. You need good business sense and the ability to weather any possible financial storms and hardships. This “enchanting” gent has easily demonstrated his persistence to the market and his ability to push sales and distribution in even the darkest of times.

Department of Defense – Optimus Prime (Transformers)
The defense of our nation is no easy task. It involves making major decisions. How would you be able to handle issues such as how troops are deployed, when and how should we wage war, what could constitute the right amount of collateral damage? Optimus Prime is a proven leader and shows great interest in the preservation of human life. Optimus would be a prime pick for this position.

Department of Education – Cave Johnson (Portal)
It is little to no surprise that our nation’s education is well behind that of other leading first world nations. We need someone who is passionate about learning and is willing to experiment with ways to better educate our children. And science is one of the key fields in which we find ourselves lacking. If we had a Cave Johnson among our top ranked government officials, I am sure we would see ourselves lap other nations in academia…although I would still be wary of his plans for lemons.

Department of Energy – Damon Baird (Gears of War)
To be able to understand energy and technology is a very important task. And when it comes to managing both, Damon Baird has shown an uncanny ability to manage technology and energy even when it was in the heat of battle. His mechanical mind and scientific expertise would make him a subject matter expert for all things energy related.

Department of Health & Human Services – Miss Aubrey (Dance Central)
Our nation’s health is less than stellar. Obesity is now an epidemic. And we need a person who can make the right moves to get us a healthier America. Enter in Miss Aubrey, a model of physical health who lives an active lifestyle. I believe she could…connect…with our nation’s youth and push us towards a thinner and healthier U.S.A.

Department of Homeland Security – Ezio Auditore de Firenze (Assassins Creed)
Homeland security is one of the most difficult of all cabinets to manage. You need to be keen on intelligence and swift with your execution of enforcement. Who better than an experienced and masterful assassin such as Ezio? He has dove into the Templar mysteries and discovered startling truths all while combating his enemies with mind and sword alike.

Department of Housing & Urban Development – Minecraft Guy (Minecraft)
I don’t think I need to say much here. Urban development and housing demands a leader who can build our nation up and develop our lands properly. When it comes to construction, no one else has the building blocks to a better future than the infamous Minecraft Guy.

Department of the Interior-Aerith/Aeris (Final Fantasy 7)
The department of the interior has to deal with the sensitive subject matters involving our relations with the Native American programs and issues, as well as natural resources. Aeris (or Aerith) is not only able to identify with their issues of being from a nearly extinct race but also respects the land and her wonders. She has the mercy and kind spirit to guide these sensitive matters.

Department of Justice – Duncan (Dragon Age)
Justice is a tricky subject matter. You need to be able to flex your muscle and be tough on crime, yet you need to temper that with compassion and humility. Duncan has shown his belief in justice, making some of the hardest decisions while maintaining a bias free position. He doesn’t favor those in his or any other circle – he chooses he decisions based on the good of the people. In Duncan we (should) trust.

Department of Labor – The Princess (Fable 3)
Labor issues always stem from problems concerning the middle and lower class. Who could better understand the troubles of the common man and woman than a lady who cast aside her royal privilege to fight for the rights of the people? She has worked at the higher tier of society as well as in the trenches with the common folk. Her perspective would be beyond measure in regards to value for this cabinet position.

Department of the State –Lara Croft (Tomb Raider)
To be able to manage foreign relations requires a person who can be eloquent, classy and refined. Being worldly, or well-traveled, is a huge plus and being intelligent in regards to foreign cultures is vital in engaging in effective communication. Lara Croft has traveled the world many times over and is one of the best-spoken leading characters out there. She would be ideal in forging better relations with other nations. I mean who wouldn’t want to have relations with miss croft?

Department of Transportation – Ramona Flowers (Scott Pilgrim Vs The World)
Being able to guide our nations transportations systems involves focusing on a huge population’s ability to travel quickly, safely, and efficiently. Ramona, being a master of inter-dimensional travel, should be able to work her magic and understanding of such things to allow for optimal transportation options for all Americans.

Department of the Treasury –Bruce Wayne (Batman)
As an old song once said, “It’s all about the Benjamins, baby”. Our nation has a truckload of debt and we need someone who could manage finances with precision and expertise. Mr. Bruce Wayne not only manages his company brilliantly but also manages his personal finances so well that he can fund almost any project imaginable. If anyone could look over our budget and help us get fiscally back on track, it is batman.

Department of Veteran Affairs – Duke Nukem (Duke Nukem)
Looking out for our troops is something which needs a much greater focus. Our troops deserve the best treatment as they are the ones who enable us to do the things we do and enjoy the freedoms we take for granted. I believe “the Duke” would understand their plights and enable them to receive bucks, babes, and booze. What else would any veteran want?